Richard Mullender challenged the audience at the IFP annual conference to consider what 'listening properly' meant and how to concentrate fully on what someone is saying.
He said: "As Financial Planners you are listening for how you can help your clients, what are their fears, their motivations, their needs.
"When you go into that first meeting you're going to have overcome their fears, go back into their values to see what's important.
"Listening to all of that is really tough. Don't think it's ever easy."
He said: "In order to make your money you have to make it about them. If I'm dealing with a hostage situation or a suicide intervention I want to get them off quickly, I have to think about them."

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Rapport is nothing, trust is everything, he told delegates, explaining there are four elements to this.

He said: "Real listening is the identification; selection and interpretation of key words that let you discover all their secrets. It's not about screwing people, that's not what I'm teaching. It's about making them feel good about themselves.
"There are situations you can resolve situations quickly by lying. We don't lie and tell they're not going to be arrested. Honesty is the key. Don't build rapport, build trust."
The default position for most people is asking lots of questions but in fact, he said, the more you ask, the less they will give you what you need.
He said planners should not ask so many questions, with the risk that asking one changes the subject and moves them away from what they were going to say.
However, he said indirect questions are effective. If you ask someone their views on Margaret Thatcher you will end up discovering more than just what they think of her, also finding out their wider political opinion, he said as an example.
He said sitting posture was important as well for listening properly, telling planners they should sit slightly forward with an open stance, hands apart and palms up. He told them to sit in the ten to two position rather than face to face
He said an important point to remember is that when people speak it is coming from the subconscious and once they are relaxed and speaking they will reveal some of their secrets.